Healing Needles

Today is a good day because I get to go see my acupuncturist.

If you would have told me a few years ago that I would pay good money to have needles inserted into my skin in order to feel better, I would have laughed myself silly. I hate needles, especially getting shots, and I nearly have a panic attack whenever I get blood drawn (something I've avoided for probably four years).

But, sometimes it takes desperate measures to overcome fears. Last spring I was having wrist problems, so I went to a physical therapist. I can only describe that as torture. In addition, I was dealing with some delicate female issues that my family doctor wanted to cure by giving me pill after pill. None of those pills were working, and in fact, they made my condition worse. After I decided I didn't need to go through any of that anymore, I happened to talk to a friend who was getting acupuncture. She loved her doctor and recommended I go see him. I instantly got a feeling of connection to this doctor, so I made an appointment. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

The first day I went to Dr. John, I walked in with a sheet I had meticulously filled out describing my maladies. There was a picture of a woman on the page and I was supposed to put an "x" wherever I felt pain. There was at least one "x" on every part of that woman's body, if not two or three. I was in need of serious help.

When the doctor saw the sheet, he laughed in suprise. He said, gently, that he was only looking for the most serious thing, but I told him it was all serious. He didn't shrug me off. He listened. Not like my old doctor, who rushed in and rushed out, barely asking me any questions.

I had acupuncture that day, and to be honest, it was pretty awful. I could barely sit up afterward and I had to have a few minutes to make the room stop spinning. But I also knew, in my heart, that it was working. My doctor loaded me up with Chinese herbs (he's also a licensed Chinese herbalist) and probiotics, and sent me on my way.

At first I went to him every two weeks. Now I'm happy to say I've graduated to once a month. My condition is improving rapidly, something he tells me each time I'm there. What he said in the beginning was true: he predicted I'd feel 80 percent better in three months, and 100 percent better in a year or a year-and-a-half. Right now I'm approaching the six month mark and I feel great. There are some residual things that he is clearing up, but I feel like I have my health and my body back. I'm looking forward to August, when I hope to be completely up to speed.

Now I'm a total believer in Chinese medicine. I don't think you'll be able to get me to a Western doctor unless it's for an emergency that requires a hospital or for surgery. Otherwise, I plan on considering Dr. John as my family doctor.

Feelin' Lucky

I'm feeling lucky today because:

• I live within two miles of a year-round farmer's market that ROCKS.
• I had a fabulous lunch with veggies from said farmer's market (broccoli with lemon sesame dressing, kale and onions, polenta, and white-bean salad).
• I have a husband who is willing to do the dishes (I hate dishes).
• I live in a state with great weather.
• I'm going to have some hand-made bookcases a la Lance in the near future.
• I have time almost every day to meditate.
• I have a group of really great students.
  

Head In the Clouds

I'm a bit confused because of all the things I want to do. I've got painting and photography and teaching and metaphysics and writing all floating around in my head vying for my attention. I'm dreaming of the future, not sure what to do first, what to focus on, and then again, I'm not sure if it's even necessary to achieve focus right now.

Not only that, but I have two great ideas about new business ventures in my head, two roads I could follow. These ideas are the kind that give me chills when I think about them. Both mean an expansion, a further exploration, one into art, one into teaching. I wonder if the two roads will ever converge. I wonder if there's one I want more than the other. I wonder if I even have to choose. Maybe I can do both.

Although I love my tutoring business, I wonder if that career will contain me or if I will break out of its box. I have a feeling the box is already becoming too cramped for me. I constantly seek growth.

Growth is essential. I loathe stagnation. I am not content to remain where I am because I know there is always something new I can try. But this creates a paradox in my mind, because I also value being present, loving everything that's in my life right now. There's a delicate balance to strike between being grateful for what is and striving for more. I do know, however, that being grateful for the wonderful things in my life brings more wonderful things. So maybe it's not really a paradox.

Girlfriends

I used to think that I would always have more male friends than female friends. In high school, one of my best friends was male. Same with in college. I could always confide in them, and there was never any worry about competitiveness or backstabbing, something I had issues with all through school. I never even had a fight with any of my male friends. Sure, I've had some great female friends over the years, but it was never quite the same.

I especially thought I would never have a large group of women friends that I could rely on. I would read books like The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and wonder why I'd never become part of such a group. So many of my female friends were from different areas of my life and they were never together all at once. I fantasized about have a connected tribe that I could fall back on.

Then I started blogging and I met some really wonderful women. Once I met them in person, I was officially converted to the world of female friends. And now I spend a lot of time with women and I love it.

On Friday, I saw Susan, whom I've known for nine years. She is one of the women I absolutely laugh my ass off with. She appreciates my love for Will Ferrell movies and the nostalgia I have for old 80s cartoons. We had so much fun I stayed out until 2 a.m., something I haven't done in a long time.

Then yesterday I played in Berkeley with Ann and Kelly. Over breakfast and a trip to the East Bay Depot, we bonded. I love bringing friends together. What could be better than friends that get along with other friends? It's like exponential goodness.

After my whirlwind weekend of girlfriend time, I realized that there is no reason at all that I should ever be afraid of girlfriends again. Maybe it just took meeting the right women to make me realize that these kinds of friendships are something special.