Reading Ban

Right now I'm on the fourth week of The Artist's Way, and in the fourth week, Julia Cameron asks that you institute a reading ban. This is to get blocked artists to listen to their artistic impulses rather than ignoring them, and to get them doing other activities than reading/zoning out to t.v./surfing the web. The aforementioned activities can be numbing, and Julia wants readers to instead listen to what's happening in their heads, and listen well.

When I first read about the ban during my initial skim through the book it almost prevented me from buying the book. Then when I got the book home, the idea of the reading ban nearly kept me from starting the program. I will say right now, in day two, that it is one of the most difficult things I've ever done.

I am never without at least one or two books to read, sometimes many more. I always have a magazine to read (my new Sun came on Sunday and it's KILLING me not to read it). In down time, like when something is baking, I read. When I'm bored, I read. When I want to do something fun, I read. When I want to learn something new, I read.

Putting me on this ban is like telling Stephen King not to write one word for an entire week. Or telling Tori Amos not to touch her piano for seven days.

I'm sneaking reading like I'm a heroin junkie. I totally blew it on Monday during "bathroom time." I got through six pages before I even realized what I'd done. Then I read some emails. Then I read a news story about the astronaut. I read the Ideal Bite tips that came into my Yahoo account. I can't stop. I tried turning off the computer, but here I am, back online. I just got done reading postings on the Artist's Way forum about what people learned from the reading ban! I'm a horrible student!

How the hell can I make it through five more days of this? Furthermore, what the hell am I supposed to do with my time? I have at least four hours of completely open time staring back at me right now, and all I want to do is read!

Of course, the point is to open myself up to new activities. To not fill up too many hours reading trashy novels or drowning in the murky waters of world news. But! my mind shouts, I don't read that stuff. I read books that open up my mind, get me to think about new things, inspire me.

Oh well. I know I need to do this. I know it's forcing me to take action rather than READING about the action I could take.

Julia adds one last thing to the reading ban: no t.v. While I don't have cable or even rabbit ears, I do watch movies or t.v. shows from Netflix. And tonight Lance is gone, so I don't have anyone else to entertain me. It's all up to me. Now what will I do? I sound desperate, don't I? I feel it! Last night I went to bed early because I couldn't think of anything to do, and if I couldn't read or watch a movie, I just wanted to sleep. This is bad.

So, tonight I need to find something to occupy my time. I guess I'll tackle the Great CD Switchover, which involves changing out my ridiculously large CD collection from the plastic cases into five zipper books. I feel too tired to write or take pictures or paint. Or is that just an excuse? Hmmm...

Damn this is hard.